pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

(Source: louistomlinslon, via grumpyoptimist)

hotanimegirl:

catching-namida:

hotanimegirl:

i want a lady on the dash but a freak in the ask

I want a sir on the dash and a sexy freak in the ask

absolutely horrible addition to my post thank u for nothing

(via grumpyoptimist)

cokeflow:

A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a chair

(via catswithbenefits)

slytherinpotionsprincess:

alchemybynight:

ohshiitakemushrooms:

Can Robert Downey Jr. and Johnny Depp star in a live action The Road to El Dorado together?

dear god how perfect would that be!!!

With Mila Kunis as that kick-ass native girl

(via valiumcolouredsky)

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

(Source: aru, via valiumcolouredsky)